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Russ
 Russ
(@russ)
Luthier
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Joined:1 year ago
Posts: 1363
22/06/2020 8:36 pm  

Hello Peeps,

As you all know Mark describes himself as a Guitar Maker and NOT a Luthier so I thought it was safe enough to tell my Luthier Joke......

.....How many Luthiers does it take to change a lightbulb?…..…..….........

.....Nobody knows. They won't tell us a thing. ??

Please feel free to add your own jokes or Funny Stories ?

🗝️ "Life's what you make it"🗝️


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mark bailey
(@markbailey)
Guitar Making God
Joined:3 years ago
Posts: 774
23/06/2020 1:34 pm  

Thats funny coz its true! Those folks who want to keep everything secret probably aren't worth listening to anyway as they often don't know what they are talking about...In my experience the best ones are the friendliest and most helpful because they have nothing to prove - same goes for players and makers.

Measure twice, cut once...


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Russ
 Russ
(@russ)
Luthier
Rep Points: 17048
Joined:1 year ago
Posts: 1363
25/06/2020 12:53 pm  
73e0c812362d6c124afb9f12015e80a9

🗝️ "Life's what you make it"🗝️


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Bill Flude
(@frocesterbill)
Customer
Luthier
Rep Points: 3533
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25/06/2020 1:33 pm  

.....How many Luthiers does it take to change a lightbulb?…..…..….........

Only one Luthier - but it will take at least two days by the time he has built the jigs and made the patterns to do the job......

Measure once........
Measure again.........
Sod it - make tea!


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Russ
 Russ
(@russ)
Luthier
Rep Points: 17048
Joined:1 year ago
Posts: 1363
29/06/2020 8:14 pm  
3a9f0ed93ae4366fc89a5dbef7944380

🗝️ "Life's what you make it"🗝️


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Russ
 Russ
(@russ)
Luthier
Rep Points: 17048
Joined:1 year ago
Posts: 1363
07/07/2020 9:34 pm  
902eb16cae76597271e84ad00f238c90  guitarist cartoons

🗝️ "Life's what you make it"🗝️


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darrenking
(@darrenking)
Customer
Luthier
Rep Points: 4390
Joined:3 years ago
Posts: 841
08/07/2020 11:20 am  

What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?

 

Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo!


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mark bailey
(@markbailey)
Guitar Making God
Joined:3 years ago
Posts: 774
08/07/2020 11:37 am  

Woop!! Banjo jokes! Now let the flood gates open....

 

Q: What do you do if you see a banjo player drowning?

A: Throw him his banjo

Measure twice, cut once...


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Deej
 Deej
(@deej)
Luthier
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08/07/2020 6:06 pm  

Guitarist to the drummer “ looks like your stools level?”

Drummer “how do ya know”

Guitarist “you’re drooling out of both sides of your mouth”

 

 

I have too many guitars...said no one in the world..ever!


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Deej
 Deej
(@deej)
Luthier
Rep Points: 10885
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08/07/2020 6:09 pm  

I had a customer one time who complained that his G string was rubbing on his nut.

I suggested boxers.

I have too many guitars...said no one in the world..ever!


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Deej
 Deej
(@deej)
Luthier
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08/07/2020 6:10 pm  

And finally 

 

A luthier once told me it was considered impolite to stare at the F hole under the G string.....

 

 

I have too many guitars...said no one in the world..ever!


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mark bailey
(@markbailey)
Guitar Making God
Joined:3 years ago
Posts: 774
08/07/2020 6:17 pm  

Q: What do you call someone who hangs round with musicians?

A: A drummer

ouch... sorry drummers...only joking...(you have to explain it to them)

Measure twice, cut once...


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Deej
 Deej
(@deej)
Luthier
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08/07/2020 9:46 pm  

Drummer jokes

 

Why 21 you ask? What, you expect them to actually count to a normal number?

1. How do you tell if the stage is level?
The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth.

 

2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door?
The knocking speeds up.

 
 

3. What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
"Hey, how about we try one of my songs?"

 

4. What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.

 

5. How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better
Neil Peart could've done it.

 

6. How do you get a drummer off of your porch?
Pay him 10 quid for the pizza.

 

7. Why didn't the Little Drummer Boy get into heaven?
Because he woke up the baby, for Christ's sake!

 

8. What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
Gifted.

 

9. What does a drummer use for contraception?
His personality.

 

10. What do you say to a drummer in a three-piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise?"

 

11. "Hey mate, how late does the band play?"
"Oh, about half a beat behind the drummer."

 

12. Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school?
Me neither.

 

13. Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?
So they can park in the handicapped spot.

 

14. How is a drum solo like a sneeze?
You know it's coming, but there's nothing you can do about it.

 

15. An amateur drummer died and went to heaven. He was waiting outside the pearly gates when he heard the most incredible fast and furious drumming coming from within. Immediately he recognized the playing and rushed to ask St. Peter if that was Buddy Rich playing drums inside the gates. St. Peter responded: "No, that's God. He just thinks he's Buddy Rich."

 

16. What's the first thing a drummer says when he moves to London?
"Would you like fries with that, sir?

 

17. What is the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
One will mature and make money.

 

18. An Indian chief and a cavalry captain climb to the top of a tall hill and look out upon the entire Indian tribe. The captain says worriedly, "I don't like the sound of those drums." The chief says, "I know. It's not our regular drummer."

19. Why do drummers have lots of kids?
They're not too good at the Rhythm Method.

20. What do you do if you accidentally run over a drummer?
Back up.

21. What did the drummer say to the band leader?
"Do you want me to Play too fast or too slow?".....

?

 

I have too many guitars...said no one in the world..ever!


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Russ
 Russ
(@russ)
Luthier
Rep Points: 17048
Joined:1 year ago
Posts: 1363
27/07/2020 5:01 pm  
2ea9ebb1266a577026fbce36ee46d3b9  music jokes music humor

🗝️ "Life's what you make it"🗝️


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Russ
 Russ
(@russ)
Luthier
Rep Points: 17048
Joined:1 year ago
Posts: 1363
27/07/2020 5:06 pm  
rock v jazz

🗝️ "Life's what you make it"🗝️


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