I can’t believe I missed the stream and the phone call...I was out with a walk in the sunshine with the missus thanking my lucky stars that all is good.....and then this...... it really topped it off....

@tv101 Surely they are the objects with the most mass, not weight? Just me being pedantic You were obviously paying attention in science class @Boo. I was sat at the back, telling jokes. ...

I'm probably going to have to set off early tonight for the twelve-bar workshop. Apparently they're expecting lengthy jams.

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An English man, Irishman, Welshman and a Scotsman are in front of a firing squad, The head of the squad says "any last requests?" The Scot says " I want a 100 piece bagpipe band to play Flower of Scot...

Played Bonopoly with some mates last night. It’s the same as Monopoly, except the streets have no name.

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Here's one that's dated a bit ... "I went to that Reading Festival earlier this year. It's crap. There's no way you can concentrate on a book with all that music going on."

OK @Boo, I'll bring you back a spot or two on my madness indicator scale. You're now just at "high". You were - briefly when I thought you'd really spent that much - at a level that can only be descr...

Not having kids frees up a lot of money. @Boo - we don't have kids at home anymore either, but if I spent that sort of money on guitar parts, my good lady would make sure I couldn't even practice th...

My bill is How 😮 😮 😮 much??? That hen-party skin-painting business must be paying really well!

Good to see you back DJ - it's been getting a bit busier in here since you left. Suggest you don't try to read everything in one go 😉 Oh, and @Boo found out how to hack the rep points scoring...

@Deej - you need to check your answerphone messages 😉 Hope the recovery is still going well - be good to have you back here and on the livestream chats.